Old Testament- What happens next?
by matthewmarklukeandjohn
Summary: Ever wondered what happens in the mythical world of Israel after Moses and the gang's story ends? THIS IS IT Meet Jesus: Bastard son of the "Virgin" Mary, Judas: Money obsessed Jesus wannabe, and Matthew our narrator Rated K for KOOL #fatherwhoartinheaven


The Gospel According to St. Matthew {1:1} The book of the generation of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham. {1:2} Abraham begat Isaac; and Isaac begat Jacob; and Jacob begat Judas and his brethren; {1:3} And Judas begat Phares and Zara of Thamar; and Phares begat Esrom; and Esrom begat Aram; {1:4} And Aram begat Aminadab; and Aminadab begat Naasson; and Naasson begat Salmon; {1:5} And Salmon begat Booz of Rachab; and Booz begat Obed of Ruth; and Obed begat Jesse; {1:6} And Jesse begat David the king; and David the king begat Solomon of her [that had been the wife] of Urias; {1:7} And Solomon begat Roboam; and Roboam begat Abia; and Abia begat Asa; {1:8} And Asa begat Josaphat; and Josaphat begat Joram; and Joram begat Ozias; {1:9} And Ozias begat Joatham; and Joatham begat Achaz; and Achaz begat Ezekias; {1:10} And Ezekias begat Manasses; and Manasses begat Amon; and Amon begat Josias; {1:11} And Josias begat Jechonias and his brethren, about the time they were carried away to Babylon: {1:12} And after they were brought to Babylon, Jechonias begat Salathiel; and Salathiel begat Zorobabel; {1:13} And Zorobabel begat Abiud; and Abiud begat Eliakim; and Eliakim begat Azor; {1:14} And Azor begat Sadoc; and Sadoc begat Achim; and Achim begat Eliud; {1:15} And Eliud begat Eleazar; and Eleazar begat Matthan; and Matthan begat Jacob; {1:16} And Jacob begat Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ. {1:17} So all the generations from Abraham to David [are] fourteen generations; and from David until the carrying away into Babylon [are] fourteen generations; and from the carrying away into Babylon unto Christ [are] fourteen generations. {1:18} Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. {1:19} Then Joseph her husband, being a just [man,] and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily. {1:20} But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. {1:21} And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins. {1:22} Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, {1:23} Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us. {1:24} Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife: {1:25} And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS. {2:1} Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judaea in the days of Herod the king, behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem, {2:2} Saying, Where is he that is born King of the Jews? for we have seen his star in the east, and are come to worship him. {2:3} When Herod the king had heard [these things,] he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him. {2:4} And when he had gathered all the chief priests and scribes of the people together, he demanded of them where Christ should be born. {2:5} And they said unto him, In Bethlehem of Judaea: for thus it is written by the prophet, {2:6} And thou Bethlehem, in the land of Juda, art not the least among the princes of Juda: for out of thee shall come a Governor, that shall rule my people Israel. {2:7} Then Herod, when he had privily called the wise men, enquired of them diligently what time the star appeared. {2:8} And he sent them to Bethlehem, and said, Go and search diligently for the young child; and when ye have found [him,] bring me word again, that I may come and worship him also. {2:9} When they had heard the king, they departed; and, lo, the star, which they saw in the east, went before them, till it came and stood over where the young child was. {2:10} When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy. {2:11} And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh. {2:12} And being warned of God in a dream that they should not return to Herod, they departed into their own country another way. {2:13} And when they were departed, behold, the angel of the Lord appeareth to Joseph in a dream, saying, Arise, and take the young child and his mother, and flee into Egypt, and be thou there until I bring thee word: for Herod will seek the young child to destroy him. {2:14} When he arose, he took the young child and his mother by night, and departed into Egypt: {2:15} And was there until the death of Herod: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, Out of Egypt have I called my son. {2:16} Then Herod, when he saw that he was mocked of the wise men, was exceeding wroth, and sent forth, and slew all the children that were in Bethlehem, and in all the coasts thereof, from two years old and under, according to the time which he had diligently enquired of the wise men. {2:17} Then was fulfilled that which was spoken by Jeremy the prophet, saying, {2:18} In Rama was there a voice heard, lamentation, and weeping, and great mourning, Rachel weeping [for] her children, and would not be comforted, because they are not. {2:19} But when Herod was dead, behold, an angel of the Lord appeareth in a dream to Joseph in Egypt, {2:20} Saying, Arise, and take the young child and his mother, and go into the land of Israel: for they are dead which sought the young child's life. {2:21} And he arose, and took the young child and his mother, and came into the land of Israel. {2:22} But when he heard that Archelaus did reign in Judaea in the room of his father Herod, he was afraid to go thither: notwithstanding, being warned of God in a dream, he turned aside into the parts of Galilee: {2:23} And he came and dwelt in a city called Nazareth: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophets, He shall be called a Nazarene. {3:1} In those days came John the Baptist, preaching in the wilderness of Judaea, {3:2} And saying, Repent ye: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. {3:3} For this is he that was spoken of by the prophet Esaias, saying, The voice of one crying in the wilderness, Prepare ye the way of the Lord, make his paths straight. {3:4} And the same John had his raiment of camel's hair, and a leathern girdle about his loins; and his meat was locusts and wild honey. {3:5} Then went out to him Jerusalem, and all Judaea, and all the region round about Jordan, {3:6} And were baptized of him in Jordan, confessing their sins. {3:7} But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees come to his baptism, he said unto them, O generation of vipers, who hath warned you to flee from the Matthew Page 2 wrath to come? {3:8} Bring forth therefore fruits meet for repentance: {3:9} And Page 3 Matthew {5:24} Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. {5:25} Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison. {5:26} Verily I say unto thee, Thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou hast paid the uttermost farthing. {5:27} Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: {5:28} But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. {5:29} And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast [it] from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not [that] thy whole body should be cast into hell. {5:30} And if thy right hand offend thee, cut if off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not [that] thy whole body should be cast into hell. {5:31} It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: {5:32} But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. {5:33} Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths: {5:34} But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God's throne: {5:35} Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King. {5:36} Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black. {5:37} But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil. {5:38} Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: {5:39} But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. {5:40} And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have [thy] cloke also. {5:41} And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. {5:42} Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away. {5:43} Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. {5:44} But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; {5:45} That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. {5:46} For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? {5:47} And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more [than others?] do not even the publicans so? {5:48} Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. {6:1} Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven. {6:2} Therefore when thou doest [thine] alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. {6:3} But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth: {6:4} That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly. {6:5} And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites [are:] for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. {6:6} But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. {6:7} But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen [do:] for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. {6:8} Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him. {6:9} After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. {6:10} Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as [it is] in heaven. {6:11} Give us this day our daily bread. {6:12} And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. {6:13} And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen. {6:14} For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: {6:15} But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. {6:16} Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. {6:17} But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face; {6:18} That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly. {6:19} Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: {6:20} But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: {6:21} For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. {6:22} The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. {6:23} But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great [is] that darkness! {6:24} No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. {6:25} Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? {6:26} Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? {6:27} Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? {6:28} And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: {6:29} And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. {6:30} Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, [shall he] not much more [clothe] you, O ye of little faith? {6:31} Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? {6:32} (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these Matthew Page 4 things. {6:33} But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. {6:34} Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day [is] the evil thereof. {7:1} Judge not, that ye be not judged. {7:2} For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. {7:3} And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? {7:4} Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam [is] in thine own eye? {7:5} Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye. {7:6} Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you. {7:7} Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: {7:8} For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. {7:9} Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? {7:10} Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? {7:11} If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? {7:12} Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets. {7:13} Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide [is] the gate, and broad [is] the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: {7:14} Because strait [is] the gate, and narrow [is] the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. {7:15} Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. {7:16} Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? {7:17} Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. {7:18} A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither [can] a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. {7:19} Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. {7:20} Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them. {7:21} Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. {7:22} Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? {7:23} And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity. {7:24} Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: {7:25} And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. {7:26} And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: {7:27} And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it. {7:28} And it came to pass, when Jesus had ended these sayings, the people were astonished at his doctrine: {7:29} For he taught


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